Uncertainty
When we are trying to make change in our life, trying to create something, we are often in a place of uncertainty. Creating anything new is going to lead us places we have not been before, going to challenge us with situations where we do not know what to do next. That is the nature of growth. It is uncertain. As we expand our lives, we are thrown into new territory, into the unknown. The majority of us don’t like uncertainty. We like things to be definite, to be certain. We like knowing our world will behave in a manner we can expect, we like knowing that we can deal with what arises, that we have the tools to deal with what arises, that we can trust ourselves to know what to do, when to do it, to stay calm, collected, able.
Change, growth, inherently means going into territory in which we are unsure. It means we will be confronted with challenges we don’t already know how to deal with. It means we will be in a space of uncertainty, a space where we do not know what to do. It’s scary. Most of us have created lives where, for the past several (if not twenty) years, we have been confronted with situations familiar to us, situations in which we have the tools to flourish. A surgeon is confident in her skills on the operating table (thank god!), but put her in a place where new skills are required, maybe a hip hop dance class, and her confidence will waver. Makes sense, nothing mind-blowing here.
Except.
Growth does not stop when we reach adulthood, when we carve out a career, when we get the skills to perform that career well. Growth happens throughout our lives, it can and should happen up to the day we die. Growth and learning are what keep us engaged in life, keep us feeling alive. Too many people reach a certain age and simply stop challenging themselves. It’s understandable. We spend our childhood in a near constant state of uncertainty, confronted with situations in which we do not know what to do on a daily basis. It’s unsettling. Perhaps even exhausting. When we arrive at a place wherein we feel fairly confident that we know the ropes, we like to stay there, to catch our breath. We pull over at the rest stop of certainty, and many of us just hang out there. There’s a nice view, bathrooms, maybe even a gift shop.
The problem is, some of us get stuck there. We never pull back onto the road. We get so comfortable being in a position of knowing, of certainty, that we stop seeking new views, dig our heels in, and just stay put. We stagnate. We refuse to head back out into the territory of not knowing. There’s too much risk there, too much discomfort.
In the art of acting, knowing exactly what you are going to do in a scene absolutely kills it. It becomes robotic, empty, boring. The skill is in knowing all the key elements (your lines, your general physical blocking), then releasing control and simply listening, being prepared to respond in the moment with whatever bubbles up, trusting that it will be good.
As I venture out, creating a new chapter in my life, I find myself in new territory, needing new skills, learning and jumping before I really know how to land. It’s scary. It’s exhilarating. I’m full of new ideas, new projects, creative energy. At times, this energy is at odds with a fear that wants me to be still, be small, stick with the familiar. It’s an interesting dance.
Let’s be the ones who don’t know. Who seek new shores, new roads, new views. Let’s get as comfortable as we can being in a position where we do not know what to do. Where we have to discover, in the moment, the next step to take. Let’s learn our lines, prepare ourselves as best we can, and then release control, listen, and trust.
If you’re interested in coaching with me to help navigate the uncertainty, and create a life you truly love, read more about it here, or contact me for a free consultation.
